Babies are precious. A gift from God. You look at one, and you can't help but smile...

I watched a movie called Children Of Men a few years ago.[Don't watch this movie. WAY too much swearing and other stuff] It's about how in the future, women cannot get pregnant, and if they do, the children never live to adulthood. Something about the air? I don't remember.

But I do remember that I was horrified. There are no children? What a terrible thing! God must have been punishing them for aborting....

Before mum got pregnant with Mariana, I'd stare at a picture of my Grandmother holding my newest cousin, and sigh. I wanted mummy to have another baby for me to cuddle and love. 

Whenever a friend had a new baby, that was ALMOST as exciting as having one of our own. I got to hold the baby, and cuddle him, and pretend it was one of mine.

Whenever mom got pregnant, I was ecstatic.

Another baby! and MAYBE, God willing, a girl!

Every single pregnancy, I'd wait agonizingly for the whole nine months to creep by. One day....another day...

We'd think of names for the baby, godparents, toys, games, everything. 

Then when mum would announce that she was going to the hospital to have her baby, we were all super excited. Grandma was with us to watch us except for Mariana's birth. We'd wait again.....stare at the clock, play a game, stare at the clock, eat lunch, stare at the clock....

"Grandma, has mommy had her baby yet?"

"No darling, I don't think so."

The phone would ring. Each time, we prayed that it was Papi announcing that birth of our newest sibling.

Sometimes, it would be friends wondering if Papi had called.

Then we'd answer politely, "No, he hasn't called," and resume our impatient staring.

I remember when Papi called to tell me that I had a sister. I felt two things;

I was excited! I had a SISTER! I would be able to braid her hair, play barbies with her, dress her up like a princess, and all the other things that I had missed out on.

But I was also scared. I had always been the only girl, the princess. I was Grandma's only granddaughter, and my parent's only daughter. I was Papi's princessita and mommy's little girl. I was afraid that now, I wouldn't be special anymore and no one would pay any attention to me.

This was the first time I felt this way. I didn't feel like that when Gabriel was born, and my status of only child was removed. 

But I got over it quickly. The first time I met her, I sang to her like I did to the boys when mommy was putting them to bed. I thought maybe she'd recognize my voice. I think she did.

I remember thinking that she looked a lot like my cousin Sean, who has Downs Syndrome.

I told mum this, but she said no, it was just her Latina eyes.

Two days later, we found out she had Downs Syndrome.

I remember feeling scared. Was she going to be okay? Would people be mean to her?

I was a bit disappointed that she'd never me EXACTLY what I had hoped for for all those years.

But I was still happy. She was my sister, my only sister, and I loved her very much.

I still do.

Babies fascinate me. Every time.

Their tiny hands that remind you of dolls...

Their feet,so small and delicate..

I remember holding Mariana's hand and thinking how very SMALL her fingernails were...and then being amazed that she actually HAD fingernails at all. 

I also remember being obsessed with her ears. They were so small! Could she actually hear from them? And how much? 

I probably did this with every baby, but being older, I remember Mariana's first day the best. 

I'll probably remember this baby even better.

When Papi told us that mommy was pregnant, the whole table lit up with smiles.
Gabriel pointed out that now, we would have as many children as the Von Trapp family.
I pointed out that Mariana would have a little sibling to terrorize.

Sometimes you wonder if abortionists actually understand. If they know. Babies are precious. Little jewels. They are fragile and delicate, and we have the responsibility to protect them. They are people, just like you and me. You were a baby once. Abraham Lincoln was a baby once.

You may have murdered someone who would have made a big difference. Who could have cured cancer. Who could have ended a war. Saved millions of lives, including your own.

Do you think this even crosses their minds?

I hope so. I hope your conscience plagues you until the day you realize what you've done. And what you're still doing.

If you saw a man about shoot a three year old child, what would you do? He was a professional murderer, he was doing this for money because someone wanted this child out of their lives. Because he was inconvenient. A nuisance. What would you do? Would you tell HIM how to live HIS life?

I would hope so.

God Bless,